It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
