i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we're making bets on your personal life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
