Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
