you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
A+ Viking dick
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