i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
