was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
