Pants 0. Shit 1.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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