Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
