Yo dont text me then not text me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just want nice things and good sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Randomize