I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
