Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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