One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
