I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
