i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
