Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
