like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize