its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
