I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
