New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
