everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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