He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
