Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
