i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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