Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sorry about my life...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
