So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
