We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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