1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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