to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
