Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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