So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
