I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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