seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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