I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
