Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
