Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize