dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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