Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
