I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
MIDGETS
????
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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