im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
