He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
