Someone shit on the floor
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
