i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize