Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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