Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
