NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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