Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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