Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
