In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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