The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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