trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Randomize