I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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