What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I want is dick and wine.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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