Small penises have feelings too.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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