i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
