Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
