just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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