You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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