'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
