Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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