It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
