Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
