Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
