am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
