is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
