they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
