Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
