ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
