So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
