All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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