i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
