all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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