i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
