shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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