when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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