the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize