I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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